And so it begins!

Well we just got home from our meeting at STAR and I am feeling very overwhelmed but in a good way. We are going to do the private track thru them and Jeff seems very happy about it. In this whole process I just want him to be happy and feel good about our decision! There is so much to do...I am glad I had a job years ago in advertising, it is going to help! I told Jeff he needs to help with this process because there is so much to do. I am scared and excited at the same time if that makes sence. I know we are all scared when we know our life is going to change. I have loved spending the last 7 years with Jeff, just him and me, at home with the dogs, going for rides in the car. I love those rides, even if it is just to Wegmans or BJ's. Just being with him, having him by my side, just knowing he is there! I know that this will change and I looking forward to it and I know I am going to miss our time together but we are ready!

I was talking to someone about how I was glad that I was working so much because it kept my mind off of the baby stuff. She replied and said...you should spend this time with Jeff, when the baby comes you are going to want that time back...I told Jeff and he laughed. He then said...we have had 7 years of just the two of us...we want a baby! I thought that was so cute...because that was what I was thinking!

So while I sit here in the family room in the dark, with christmas music on, looking out side, seeing the snow fall and having the glow of the lights from the christmas tree makes me want to cry, just because I love this time of the year, but it is always a sad time of the year when you don't have children. Christmas day is nice to wake up with your husband and to have breakfest and then to open our gifts...but i long for the pitter patter of little feet coming into our room telling us that "Santa came!" I had such a wonderful childhood and I get warm fuzzies thinking back to the times that my brother would wake me up with "Coke...Coke...Santa Came...wait till you see the gifts!" Yes, I will say we were spoiled...but in a good way. We never went without but there was always a limit. I can say with confidence...I WILL SPOIL MY KIDS!

I hope and pray that God thinks our time to have our baby will be soon, but if it is not this Christmas with our baby, i can wait till next Christmas, because I want it to be right. Hugs and blessings.