Infertility VS. Adoption
I have been thinking long and hard about this...which is worse? Well I think...this is only my opinion since I have been through both and are currently going through that latter...Adoption is worse! Why you may say if you have never had infertility problems...because with infertility and the treatments you know that there is window of days that it could happen...with Adoption...that call can come anyday..anytime...anywhere! I think the pain at the end of the month when you finally get "aunt flo" is the same feeling as when you weren't the one's chosen for that particular baby. You had all these hopes and dreams...just when you think the feeling is there...a little sick to your stomach...and then it comes...the call you have made since you haven't heard anything or when you go to the bathroom and "aunt flo" has made a surprise visit! I am not saying whether or not we have been profiled because that is private to us, but I was thinking about this while I was taking the dishes out of the dishwasher...after I had read my friends' blog...she was pregnant and had a miscarriage at 9 weeks...poor little pooter...N I am thinking about you! And it got my mind thinking about all of those emotions you have after you have just found out that the pregnancy was not viable...it feels like the feeling you get when you find out you were not chosen for that baby...Trust me...I know the feeling! It has happened to us...not being chosen and having miscarriages.
I know that fear can paralyze you...make you feel like you shouldn't go on...but you can't let the devil keep you from your dreams! So we sit here and wait with the other 50 + couples waiting for healthy CC babies through our agency...yes 50+...isn't that nice! We should have a baby...oh...maybe...next year some time...KIDDING!!!! That is not going to stop me from my dreams! So I leave you on this happy note...our baby is coming...God told me so ;-)
2 comments:
Sorry there isn't an easier way to wait, wait and wait........I struggle more and more everyday as more time passes.I just keep thinking God has a plan for all of us waiting, and when the right baby comes along, he/she will find us!Hang in there!!
The only thing I can tell you is that there were a couple of babies that we had gotten our hopes up for that fell through. At the time I was devastated and couldn't understand why. Now I know. Had we been selected by those other birth mothers we probably would have stopped the adoption cycle after those babies and we never would have been available for our son. I TRULY believe that we were meant to be his parents. I can't go into details but it has been very obvious to me that this child was destined to be ours....yours is coming,,,try to be patient. The right child for you hasn't been born yet.
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