A New Day

Ok...So I am going to try not to be so gloom and doom today! It is another day with out sun here in Buffalo...but this weekend looks like it is going to be a winner and boy does my garden need attention! If you don't know me well...you don't know that gardening is a major passion of mine and Jeff's. We love to garden...we love to clean out the garden after the winter...get ride of the dead stuff and watch the garden bloom! Everday when Jeff and I come home from work, after we have fed the dogs their dinner we go out side and walk our "Estate" LOL...I planted a ton of bulbs on the side lot so I am looking forward to seeing then bloom! I hope the rabbitts didn't get to them! So our Potential Birth Mother is due mid May so that is about 4 weeks away...we are not getting excited about it, only because we don't want to get hurt...we are planning this for the month, but using caustion...because we may have a baby. I will not name the baby...even though I knw the gender...the name we have picked is so unique that it would be hard to find another one like it. So everyday...I take a deep breath and breathe...If she chooses to parent that is fine...then it wasn't meant to be. The baby's room is almost done. We have pretty much everything we need...even before we were potentially matched with this birth mom. We are still advertising and our profile is still being shown. it would be nice to have a May baby...I won't lie...I do catch myself day dreaming about the little one...but I know better. I have seen so many people get their hearts broken after a failed placement...I will stay strong...we have a lot of prayers around us and for us. We feel the presence of the Lord and he is going to place our baby with us when he feels it is time. So, have a great day today...think a happy thought if you are down...and say a prayer for the student's and teachers of VTEC. Hug and Blessings!

EDITING this post...Our attorney called and broke the news...The Birth Mother still wants to adopt the baby out but to a FAMILY MEMBER! Yeah that makes alot of sense! UGH!!! So we are back on the block...the adoption block...any takers??????? I hope to have a better week next week. I think I am more weepy because of my friend who passed...not sure...but I am at work so I need to be strong and put on a pretty face. So now we are at 5 m/c's and 2 failed placements! When will this test be over??????