Long Weekend...

I have been so strong for so long...So long...this weekend I was not strong. I thought we would have been parents by this weekend. Having 2 failed placements...it hurts...we have a big planting day on our street on the Saturday before Memorial Day...I am the president...so this year I thought we would have had a little on to walk up and down the street with...Kenmore has a big parade on Memorial Day...we normally have people over with all their kids...this year I wasn't in the mood for it. I can't say I am depressed just sad...sad that our baby is not home with us yet. Sad that God's plan is our plan but not our time line. On Sunday, Jeff and I slept in...we had friends over for dinner the night before and had some wine, sat outside, and talked for hours...it was nice...the weather was perfect...our yard looks like a mini park with all the flowers and plants that we have been coultivating for a year now. It is a beatuiful yard...I must say...we have done alot of work over the last 5 years. We love to entertain, Jeff loves to cook...I want our children to run in the yard...barefeet...chasing the dogs...playing with their friends. I know that this day will come...I know this...I am thankful for a great husband, a great family and great frineds... but it is not enough...I long to be a mommy...dirty little fingers and toes...dirty little face with ice cream all over it.

Today we are going to my parents...we spend most of the summer there...they have an in ground pool...we joke and call it the Getzville Country Club...today is opening day! We are spending time with family...My brother who is a vet from the Iraqi war will be there...Thank a Vet for your freedom and your safety to walk the streets of your town with out having the fear for dieing...thank a vet! Hugs and Blessings!