Trust in him...
The blogging community is so big and I have met so many people here. Whether they are trying to adopt or TTC with IF. I thought of this verse from the bible...I hope this helps with those who are struggling with the "why" factor...
"TRUST IN HIM WITH ALL YOUR HEART AND LEAN NOT ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING" Proverbs 3:5
So many times thing may happen to us, whether it be an adoption miscarriage or a bio-miscarriage, IF, PCOS and so on. We can spend all day sitting there asking ourselves..."Why me" You need to TRUST IN HIM with ALL your heart! It took me a long time...I was thinking yesterday while Jeff and I were out and about...Here is our time line...
3/03 - IUI and got pregnant then m/c 8 weeks later
5/03 - IUI and became pregnant with twins! M/C baby one within 8 weeks
8/23/03 - Our baby was a still born at 16-17 weeks gestation.
8/23/03 - 12/13/03 - Stayed in bed or at home for over 4 months...depression set in and I thought my life was over...on 12/13 I cried from the moment I woke up until the moment Jeff came home from work. "That is when he said...will our life ever be the same or are you going to cry everyday for the rest of your life?" At that moment it hit me...I was wasting my life with the "why me" "why us" From 12/14/03 until 2/06 -- over 2 years...I struggled with IF and TTC and constantly thinking and trying to be in control of it. 2/06 I said to Jeff..."we are not getting any younger and all we want is to be parents...so let's adopt! " That was it...and here we are 5/07...on our journey of adoption. But back in 11/05 we were at our first bible study group... and one of the girls there was talking about me turning control over to the lord...MY LIFE HAS NEVER BEEN THE SAME! Jeff came on board with the adoption journey...everything started to fall into place...our money situation, my new job...everything...So I am here to tell you...TRUST IN HIM! Please...Trust in him...he always does the right thing. It may not seem that way right now...but trust in him. I love you, god loves you...most importantly...love yourself!
2 comments:
Colette,
I too have had 3 miscarragies. 1 in the first month, 1 at 13 wks and 1 ectopic. For a long time I felt just bereft of faith, my soul shattered. But along my adoption journey, I have come to realize, that God really does know best and while I still struggle everyday to trust, I know that I am not alone.
Hugs, great post!
Duckess Jen
I am a spiritual person but not overly religious. During our TTC and adoption journey my friend Mary who is in her 60's and a devout catholic said the same thing to me. Last week when I took Josh to meet her she said to me "Remember when I told you 4 years ago not to lose faith in God?" well as hard as it was sometimes I never did and now our prayers have been answered and I know that yours will be too very soon.
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