Does infertility = guilt?
So I thought I had passed the feelings of guilt when it came to infertility and not being able to carry to full term...guess I was wrong. We had Jeff's cousin and her family over for dinner. She has 3 adorable sons. Max is 4, Cole is 2 and Miles is 7 months. Well...Max looks just like Jeff when he was little. It is like looking into all the old photos of Jeff. I wanted to keep Max at our house. He is what I always thought our son would look like. I couldn't get enough of him. He is so smart and handsome. Jeff's' cousin is married to a guy who's mom use to babysit my brother and I when we were small. It is strange to think that we are now family. There has been alot of drama in Jeff's family due to his fathers new wife. But we are now re connecting his his cousin and her family. It was so nice to have them over. She got Miles dressed for bed in his little sleeper and I had to hold him. What a snuggle bug he is. I didn't want him to go...He was falling a sleep on me. It was wonderful. I can't wait to hold our baby. She gave us some great advise and I can't wait to share her with our family!
Things are moving along nicely. It is now 39 days and all is quite on the western front...Just the way we like it! We are going to The Trading Post today in Springville, NY. I have 4 large totes full of boy clothes...4! I can't believe it. So I picked through it and got alot of clothes to trade for new baby stuff that we need! So as I was picking through them...Jeff said...you better be careful giving all this stuff away...what if it is a boy!? I was so happy to hear him say that. There is alot behind that statement. Some of you may know what it is others my not...so we will keep it there!
I hope to write again soon. It is crazy in the summer when the weather is nice...we spend most of our time at mom and dad's house in the pool.
One last thing...4 days till I turn 36...ick!!!!!
3 comments:
Just think 36 is the age you will always remember as the age you became a mom. It can't be that bad.
In the past 10 1/2 weeks I have learned that I could not love Josh anymore than if I had given birth to him. So the answer to your question is.........no, infertility does not = guilt. You will forget all about the feelings of guilt once you bring home your baby girl (or boy)even though she or he may not look like you.
Happy Birthday Colette... 36 isn't that bad... that comes from experience...Me and this is my third month into being that age.... It's really only a number....I am thrilled that your day to mommyhood is nearing so very close.... It is a good time!
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