Palm Sunday...

Wow...we went to church today...all I did was cry...Poor Jeff...I felt so bad for him...sitting next to his wife that cries at the drop of a hat. All I kept thinking about is the day that we walk in to church and so our Pastor our baby has arrived. Not sure when that will happen...maybe the next 6 weeks or maybe in the next 6 months. But I don't want to dwell on something I have no control over. In all reality...it is not for me to be upset about. I know that our time will come...when he thinks we are ready...but are we ever ready? Is anyone ever ready to have their life turned up side down on a moments notice? When you are pregnant you can prepare for the arrival of your baby. With adoption...the call could sound like this " Hi is this _______ you son/daughter has been born, come pick him/her up tomorrow at 9am!" That is when your world has turned upside down...Man I can't wait! We are prepared with things for the baby...but are we prepared for the sleepless nights? The 4 am feedings? The not able to pick up and leave at a moments notice? HECK YEAH! WE are READY!

We are going to a birthday party today for my little friend Owen...he will be 2 this year! WOW 2! It is amazing how fast they grow... remember the day his mom and dad came over to tell us they were pregnant...I think we were all a little nervous! I knew that they were going to tell us that...i could see it in her eyes...the pure joy and happiness that an expectant mother has. They weren't sure how to tell us...When they left...I cried...for 2 reason...one for me...I am selfish that way I guess...I deep down in side wanted that to be me. Second reason...I was so happy for them...they already had 2 beautiful little girls at home, and we all prayed for a healthy boy...and that is what they had! I will also see a close friend of mine who is pregnant with her third girl! She is due in June...God I hope our babies come the same time...It is hard when all your friends are having babies and you are still waiting for yours!

Maybe today I cried at church for myself and the losses we have had...and I also cried for Jesus and his disappointment in the people that holy day. How sad it was and selfish of the people and then the people who were children like...saying Hosanna in the Highest! I hope that one day I can be like the children of god and not always think of myself...i am trying...the Lord knows I am trying! On this gloomy Palm Sunday...God Bless! His day is coming...are you ready??? Hugs and Blessings!