One of those days...

I am having one of those days...AF has arrived and I hate her! Every month...I always hold out a little hope that maybe she won't come this month...maybe...but she always shows up! Lucky me! So I guess I am feeling sorry for myself...I guess a girl can do that...I am entitled! Even if I weren't I would! We have been matched for 43 days...seems like a life time...feels like a life time...have you ever just gotten to the point where you feel like you want your life to begin...that is how I am feeling.

Everyone who knows me knows I am and want to be in control of everything...but for this I am not. I am cool with that...that is life. If adoption has taught me one thing it is I have no control over anything. I wish I could wave my magic wond and have all my girls (J, B, P, T, & S) ((You know who you are)) matched and waiting for their baby. I wish there was no heart breaks when it came to adoption. We all have been waiting for various length and reasons. Some have children at home, and some do not. Ladies justso you know I pray for you everyday and night that your baby comes home soon.

People who haven't been though this process don't understand how hard it is. If you are with an agency...they call you to see if you would like to be profiled for a potential adoption situation, if you say yes...you wait for the call...then the call never comes...you wonder...did she choose another couple? Why didn't she pick us. Well...those questions most time don't get answered. So we as prospective adoptive parents have to go through the stress of waiting to hear if we were pick. JUST CALL!!! I don't understnad why they don't call to let the PAP know...that waiting time is so stressful...how hard is it to pick up the phone and let those PAP know that it wasn't their baby? It just kills me! Jeff and I have often talked about what it would take to open up an agency...first of all we know it is ivery political and then our minds wonder over to how we would handle situations and the one thing we both agree on is we would call to let the PAP know as soon as we know, so they wouldn't have to go through that. It is just a phone call...I just don't understand it. That is my rant for the day! Love or leave it!