Life is good... (T minus 8 days)
Ok, so I am better now. My ranting is over and I feel so much better! Only thing is I want our boy home!!! Ok... I said it and I won't say it again in this post only! I think back at all the time that Jeff and I have spent together and I wouldn't change a thing. I have grown up so much during our marriage. He is the love of my life and I am ready to share him. I am sure I will be jelious when daddy and his little buddy go out and leave mommy home alone (maybe, maybe not LOL) Or when he wants daddy to hold him instead of me. I have waited 6 long hard years to see a baby of ours in his arms. I dream about it...almost every night. Last night I had another dream about them. Daddy was outside playing ball with is little buddy. I know this was God's plan all along. I look back at the frightful day of August 23, 2003 and think why me? Why would God have this happen to me. Why am I the one who delivers her baby at home and have him still born? Is this some kind of sick joke? I don't think so. We needed to feel that pain, to feel the joy we are about to feel. That night that Jeff rested his head in my chest as he said his goodbyes to our little Joe...that was a terrible moment...we needed to go through that in order to experience this joy that is about to hit us right between the eyes. (wipeing tears away)
So...now for some happy news. My house is the cleanest house on the block! I have been cleaning and cleaning...I was at work today and I was cleaning there! They must think I have lost my mind...and in a way I have...I sure have! We were at my parents house last night swimming again...and you could tell we are all ready! Mom and Dad are about to expolode! Everytime I call their house, Dad will answer and he will say " Is it time" and I say "nope" then his responce is "well what do you want?!" and we both laugh!
I had one of the best nights' sleeping last night. I slept all the way through until 6:45am when Jeff was leaving and he kissed me good bye. I felt great! Then I closed my eyes and woke up again at 8:15am. Went to work, then to Talbots (they are having a fabulous sale, and I had gift cards!!!), then home to do laundry and then Jeff came home for lunch. So that is my day in a nut shell or a blog post! I have to say I am addicted to blogging. Reading and posting! I know I am going to be on withdrawl when he comes...that is fine with me...bring on the shakes! Hugs and Blessings!
3 comments:
AHHHH!!!! what a great feeling your boy will be in your arm's any minute,any day! Isn't life grand!
Colette
I am so excited for you two. What an exciting time. If you need to keep busy please come to my house and clean a little or a lot! Keep the posts coming. It gives us hope!
Janet
Glad to hear you are in a better place today! I wear the same size shoe that you do and have walked all of your footsteps~I know how it gets, people telling you to relax...when all you want is a baby! We only had to wait 4 days after our match, but I can promise you one thing, once that baby is in your arms your pain of your losses will be less. It doesnt go away completely, but your "anniversary" dates change and you think more of your babies milestones than your loss milestones. You are right; we believe too that we had to have that pain to really appreciate and unconditionally enjoy those late night feedings, those nights when sleep is only few minutes at a time. Yes, there will be days when you are tired and frustrated over not sleeping, but that night when your boy has gone to bed you will find yourself wondering what joys and exploring tomorrow will bring!
Hang in there, it is an finite wait now! Tomorrow could be your last Saturday as just a family of 2!
Molly
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