Happy Father's Day Jeffrey!

Ok, so I am a day late and maybe a dollar short, I am not sure about that! We had a very busy weekend with Grandma Sikorski's furneral, and Father's Day! Mom and Dad took the baby on Friday night, knowing that Saturday would be very busy with the furneral and family obligations. And to top it off, Julian has a terrible cold! Poor baby! So we picked him up on Saturday afternoon, went home, changed and then went shopping...I don't know about you, but when I don't feel good, shopping always cheers me up! LOL Julian was a trooper and he did great! Sunday we spent the morning and early afternoon home, enjoying a nice quite first Father's day for Jeff. Then we went to my parents for dinner, with Grandma and Uncle Damon. It was a nice night. Here are a few pictures from that little party!

(Thanks for all the prayers for dad! They released him and now they are doing a wait and see what happens. We are hoping all will be fine and no surgery will be needed! )

Toward the end of the night, poor Julian was so tired, but we had to get a picture of Papa and him...I am not sure if he was getting ready to cry or if he was laughing at Papa...it was a long day and Mommy was very tired!



Today we had some crazy weather! We had hail the size of Silver Dollars! I have never seen hail this big before, so I had to take a picture of it...sorry it is blurry! I tried to size it with something, and all i could find was Julian's small rubber ducky!



And there is always a rainbow at the end of a storm...so here it is! Hope you found your pot of gold...I know I did! Julian and Jeff were in it! Hugs and Blessings!

A year ago today...

I was driving home from a long day at work and my cell phone rang...it was the call I will NEVER forget...we were chosen by a birthmom! It was the most exciting day...we had had a failed match earlier in the month but I knew in my heart of hearts that this was going to be our baby! And he is!

Saying good bye to this blog

Ok everyone...I have decided to start a new blog. When I set this blog up it was for our journey through adoption. So now that he is home with us and our consent hearing is only 11 days away, I figured it was time to start a new. Please go to my new blog and bookmark it. This will be my last post on here.

http://wearenow3.blogspot.com

Hope to see you there!!!!

Trying something out...

Click to play | Make your own Smilebox

My friend Dominic needs your help!

Hi everyone. My friend Dominic needs your help! Please check out his site...he is raising money for childrens cancer research. His mom and I are high school friends! They are so close to their goal...it would be great if they could meet it! With your help they will!

Dominic was diagnosed with Stage 4 Neuroblastoma, a type of childhood cancer on March 26, 2005. Two days after the birth of his baby brother and 5 days before his 5th birthday.

You can check out his web site to find out more about him at www.supportdominic.org

http://www.firstgiving.com/supportdominic

Please pass this along! You can put you heard from me about this! Coco is my nickname and that is how they all know me! Please help him out!

Some information you may not know...Cancer is the leading cause of death by disease in children under theage of 15 in the United States. Despite this fact, childhood cancer research is vastly and consistentlyunderfunded. The American Cancer Society uses only less than 2% of money raised tofund research of Pediatric Cancers.

My baby is 4 weeks old : (

4 weeks old today!

Goofy look on his face...that darn flash does it everytime!

Ok...I am sad...he is already 4 weeks old! Where does the time go? I don't know! Jeff is off this week, while I am back to work so they have been bonding. Yesterday Julian slept ALL day...I kept warning Jeff that if he sleeps all day...he will be awake for 2-3 hours over night...well sure enough my little guy did prove mommy wrong! He was up from 2-4am! Finally I got up and snuggled with him and he fell asleep. Mommy's touch! So since mom and dad are going to be watching him, they are aware that he needs to be awake during the day. Taking a nap here and there is fine...most nights he sleeps from 9-2am or 3am. SO it is time to get him back on track! He is such a good boy and I really missed him yesterday. I went home 3 times during the day from work to see him. All 3 times...HE WAS SLEEPING!!!! I kept laughing...but I was the one in turn who had to get up with him last night! I told Jeff...it is not Julian's fault...it was Daddy's fault! Ha ha!

n Labor day we went to our neighbors house for drinks and goodies...very casual and of course Julian was so good. So here is a picture of him with his Uncle Scott...Uncle Scott was so funny...he kept trying to wake him up...finally it was time to eat and he did! We love our neighbors, Jenny and Scott and Dave and Peggy have become some of our closest friends! So here are some pictures! I know I have been slacking! Sorry!

Bath time!

Well...Julian had his first bath last night. Here is a picture of him just after the bath and after he was dress...wow...it really helps him relax. He slept from 9:30pm till 5:12am!!! Mommy woke up at 3:30 and jumped out of bed to make sure he was ok...I got a bottle ready and then he slept for another 2 hours. So it was either the 6 oz or the bath...maybe both. We will let you know.

Enjoy!

Happy Birthday Nonna!

Nonna and Nonni (my mom and grandmother) came over this afternoon. It is my mother's birthday. Everytime mom holds him he falls asleep! He is just so sweet! This morning while I was feeding him...he gave me the biggest smile...my heart just sank...what an incredible feeling that is. He has smiled before, but for some reason, this morning was so special. We went to the Doctor's yesterday...our som is now up to 9 lbs 13 oz. Right on track! I can't get enough of him!

Here is a picture of Nonni with her little buddy. My grandmother is so different with him then she ever was with us. It is sweet. I am glad she is alive to see her great-grandson!

3 weeks old and his first party...

Mommy and Julian at our baby shower...

Our baby is 3 weeks old! Man time is flying...He changes every day...it just amazes me! So he had his first party...it was our baby shower last night. It was a really nice night. My mom out did herself again...my MIL & SIL were great too. I have posted some pictures from the night...today we are all just laying low! I am pooped! Mr. Julian was such a good boy! He just amazes me...we are truly blessed with a wonderful baby. Today...he is a snuggle buggle! I love it when he snuggles. So here are some pictures! Thank you to all the attended. I was so nice having all my girls around me to share in our special day!

Jeff made this amazing cake...he out does himself everytime!

My mother made these center pieces...from the book GUESS HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU? The tables look amazing! Thanks mom!!!

Newsletter from Church...

We can't keep a blanket on his feet! He kickes them off all the time...Just like his mother! I am the same way...always have to have my feet exposed!

I love this little outfit...he is starting to out grow it! I am sad...

I love to get our newsletter from church. There is always something that just hits you right in the face. It always seems that there is something going on in my life that makes the newsletter so much more. Today it was about friendship and how to help grow our church by spreading the word of the lord. But this is what really hit me.

Proverbs 17:17a "A friend loves at all times"

So why do we have friends and just how important are they? God designed us to have friends and live in meaningful relationships. God uses these relationships to reveal Himself! God uses friends to love, guide and bless us!

During this wonderful time of making our family, I have seen friends come and go. So come into our lives because you have something in common, So go out of our lives because of things you no longer have in common, or jealousy or too much time has gone by to make up for the past.

While this time is so joyful for us, others have shown that they are true friends, while others fight with their innerselves and drift out of our lives. Sometimes it is very hard to come to grips with the fact that people are selfish and when good things happen to you they don't know how to deal with it. That happens with families too. I can't make you become or stay my friend. If you are my friend, you know that I am always there for you...good times and bad...during pregnancies, births of children, deaths of parents, and life changing situations. But it always seems to go one way with me. I give my all and some people just take that for granted. I can no longer think of myself...I now have a son to think of. During this time, I have seen old friends come out of the woodwork and old friends go in hiding. I am thankful for the friends who have recently appeared after all these years and feel sorry for those who have gone in hiding.

I know that everything happens for a reason...that our life is in the lords hands. But you still need to look out for number one...your family...and that is what I have done. Once jealousy appears in a friendship, you can do a few things...walk away from that friendship...confront the jealousy and let that friend know...or behave badly and have regrets later in life.

When I was younger I had a friend I was jealous of...I behaved very badly during a time that was very important in her life...her wedding...I backed out of the wedding and lost a friend forever. I have since called her to tell her that I was sorry and that I was jealious of her at that time in my life. We have never spoken again. Jealousy is an ugly thing...it destroys many relationships...good or bad. I have done alot of growing up in the past 3 weeks and realized that friends come and go...maybe years from now those friends will reappear and say they are sorry...but it will never be the same.

I pray for those people and in a sad sort of way I feel very sorry for them. I feel sorry that they are not happy with the life they are leading and they have not found the lord to help them deal with jealiousy. So everynight, pray for those you are no longer friends with...wish them well with their life and say good bye. It is a tough one to grasp...but one that needs an end.

UPDATED PICTURES OF JULIAN...

Here is our friend Frank...seeing him for the first time...

Making faces at mommy...another picture...COME ON!!!!

1st time to church

Hi everyone...as you all know, church is a huge part of our life. With out the power of prayer Julian would not be here. So of course I took a picture of him at church. He was sucha good boy. He was a wake in the begining and then he was hungry so we ate and then he slept the rest of the time. It was so nice to show everyone our new son. So many people came up to us and told huged us and said they remembered my testimony on Mother's Day and look at us now...a family. We are so blessed! Pastor Jerry was not there, so we will meet him next week! We met a really nice family, they have a son who is 3 months old. WOW what a difference. I want to keep Julian in a bubble never letting him grow up! Every day he changes. Today he wore his Tommy outfit to church and he looked so handsome.

Ok, so some of you have asked for a picture of him and me together. This is one...now mind you, it was early on and I was very tired...Since he has come home, I have lost 15 lbs! I am hoping to lost another 60 by the time he is 6 months old. That is my goal! We go for a walk everyday. He loves to go for walks and so do I.

UPDATE ON THE FINALIZATION: We saw our attorney today at church...We just love him...he told us that a date has been picked for the court appearance and it is coming up. He was shocked as to how fast things are moving and how smoothly too. So, we maybe finalized with in a month of placement! How wonderful! Our birthmother and father have signed everything and there is no turning back...we will go in front of a judge, she will assign a social worker who will then do a home visit and then mail in the final copy and it will be final! We are overjoyed! The emotions are never ending. We will let everyone know when it is done. Our attorney told us to invite as many people as we want...but I think we are going to keep it to family. Maybe Aunt Katie and Uncle Pat will be able to make it too.

For those who are waiting...think about doing the private track. You will be in control and you will know what is going on. I have all the information, so contact me and I will help you. Don't waste the money...Also buy the book...How to adopt within one year domestically. I think that is the title. I read that book front to back, and followed it to detail...and 5 months later we were matched! You have to view this as a job...a full time job...You need to help your baby find their way home. That is how I looked at it. Julian had the help from our little Joseph (BTW he would have been 4 yrs old on August 23) We went to his grave site and it was bitter sweet to have Julian there with me. It was closure for me...I will never forget him, but that chapter is over and a new one is here. Don't ever give up hope. I am here if you need help!

Our first trip to Wegmans!

So in our area, Wegmans is a big supermarket. Jeff and I would go together zip in and zip out. So we thought we would go today. Well times have changed...there was no zipping anywhere. Those darn car seats make is so hard to see over the top! But I had to document his first trip there so here is a picture of him. Of course he was taking his mid afternoon nap!

When we got home...he was still sleeping! This kid can sleep! But last night he went from 9:30pm till 3:00am! He had 4.5 ozs! He is such a good baby! Now that the Thrush is under control (thanks Sue for pointing that out!) we got it before it was really bad! I don't know where I would be without you girls! So here are a few more pictures of our darling son.

New Picture

Hi all...here is a new picture fo our boy...he is getting so big so fast! I can't stand it! Here he is in his play pen...see the bears...well I was on line, finishing up some work and he was crying so I went to check on him and the bears were attacking him...he rolled over and the bears were in his little face. I would be crying too! Hugs

Hi all...sorry i haven't posted in a few days. Life is busy. I am so in love with our son it is an amazing feeling! He is smiling and makes eye contact and gives me kisses (ok...when he is hungry he sucks on my face) I never thought being a monther would be this wonderful! I love to see peoples reactions when they see him. I am not saying this because he is mine, but people gasp at him...what a beatuiful baby! I just beam from ear to ear!

Ok...those of you are still waiting...get the Dr. Brown Bottles! They are the best out there! Julian is so darn happy, no gas, no crying...well he does cry a little but that is if he is naked or hungry...I swear...ask anyone who has seen him.

The night time is great. He goes from 9:30pm to 1:30am and then to 5-6am. It is great! Key trick is to try to keep him up during the day. I have him on a schedule and it seems to be working.

Well we are at my mom's and we have to go soon. I will post pictures this weekend! I don't want to post to many...don't want anyone to get sick of him...Yeah like that will happen! Hugs

2 weeks old!

I can't believe that our son is 2 weeks old! Man does time fly! I know a few of you have mention Thrush to me. I took that right after he ate, but I am taking him to the Dr.'s tomorrow. I can oly post for a minute...it is witching hour at our home from 8-10pm. That is the ONLY time he is fussy. So I guess we are lucky! He slept last night from 9:30pm till 3:30 am. I couldn't belive it! So we are hoping tonight will be the same. I will post tomorrow! Jeff is talking to him...he is telling him ... "No Fussing" :) I am dieing here! I love to hear him talk to him...It is so cute! I have never been more in love with my hubby as I am today! Hugs and Blessings!

ok so we had a talk...

julian and his mommy...this is what he was doing all the while...

I guess I was boring him! He is too much! Nice formula tounge. I guess I bite him 100 times a day!














Here is a little smile. He changes every day! It is amazing!

BIRTH MOTHER REPORT...for those of you who are wondering...Our birth mother went to court and signed in front of a judge. So basically it is all done. We will be going to court in 15-30 days, a social worker will be assigned for one visit and then it is finalized. But we know that there is no turning back now that she has signed in front of a judge! 12 days!!! Praise god!!! She is doing well, we spoke for a minute and I wished her all the best and told her that is doing great. She sounded good. She will always be in our prayers!

The smile is coming...

Well...it is coming...soon! He has smiled at me a few times...it is hard to capture it on camera. You can see my lipstick on the side of his face.

Is he not the cutest little guy! I could just eat him up all day! God has blessed us!!!

He is a bit gassy tonight...this too shall pass. Daddy has him right now...sounds like they are playing! 3 post in one day! I am trying to play catch up!

Hugs to all!

New Pictures...

Eyes open...it is tough to get a good shot when he is squrming! But Daddy did a great job! He's the best!

Look at the face! I could eat it up all day long!! Not sure if you can see the bib or not but it is from Aunt Paulette...It is so cute! Why are my pictures blurry??? I hate that! Oh well! Look at those lips! I kiss them when he puckers up!

I was singing him a song yesterday and he looked right at me and gave me a big grin! I cried for about 15 mins...the whole time thank god for this wonderful gift!

It is so worth the wait!

Thank you lord...

for this wonderful gift of a son. I can't tell you how blessed we feel everyday. The waiting is the worst...there is no doubt about it. It is tough on everyone involved. I thank god for such a wonderful husband. With out him and his support, love and kindness, I couldn't have gone through the process. As a waiting adoptive parent you wonder about many things...when will it happen...who will it be...what will they look like...how will I feel about the baby when they come home. All those emotions, all those thought, all those worries...with out Jeff or the Lord in my life, I don't think I could have made it.

Yes our journey was on the shorter side. We were matched at 9 months and Julian was born just over 11 months of waiting. I think the worst part of the waiting was the 72 days of being matched. Not being in control of anything. I KNEW that our birth mother was going to place. There was never a doubt from Jeff or I on that. It was just a matter of when will he be born.

Our friends have been amazing...awesome handme down (bottle sterilizer is a must!!!!) Love it! (thank you Aunt Katie) Since it has been so warm, he is really only wearing tee shirts...he looks so cute BTW. The phone calls are everyday, checking on him and us...I could have asked for a better group of friends. A shout out goes to all of our friends who said they would call the group of friends and DID! THANK YOU !!!! I felt bad the other day when we were walking and a friend of mine saw us and said she had no idea...I guess some calls were not made...I appoligized to her and asked her to call the others so they would know.

This weekend is going to be a quite one. We are home as a family...I am sending out Thank you notes, doing laundry, going for a walk...just being a family. I will post pictures later today. I am trying to get one with his eyes open...he was awake yesterday for 6 hours...he was a tired little guy! So...hugs and blessings!

We are all still here!

Hi everyone...we have been very busy! Busy visiting family and friends. We also have a very happy little boy! He eats, sleeps, poops and pees and is now smiling! I am going to try to get it on film! He sleeps about 4-5 hours during the night...you read right 4-5 hours!!! Our birth mom told me that he would and I didn't believe her! Well she was right!

So as of next week it will be finalized...all we have to do is go to court for the ceremony, but other then that we will be all set by early next week! We are so thrilled! He will be all ours! When our court date comes up I will let you all know. It should be soon. We have an inside track, so we are keeping our fingers crossed that it will be soon! But since our Birth Mom is going to sign in front of a judge that is it!!! So we could ask for anything more! Please keep praying and I will let you know what happens.

So I have attached a few photos of recent days! Enjoy!

Julian and Aunt Katie at his first Bible Study --->

Sleeping...

I could just watch him sleep all day long...quite my job and just watch him for the next 5 years! My parents can't get enough of him! We are so lucky to have them. They will be watching him when I return to work in the fall. It is amazing how much they change from day to day. He has gained 4 oz. since Saturday and is now back in the 8lb. range. His eyes are open more often...sometimes at night...NO TALKING! Just looking! He is turning his head and watching us more and more. The doctor said we should see a smile by this weekend.

Our scheduling is working out well...he is getting his days and night closer together. But Daddy needs to burb him better! LOL But look at the size of his hands!

I just love this baby! I can't get enough of him! We are learn more and more everyday. We saw a friend who gave us great advice. So thank you for that!

So my shower is coming up in the next 2 weeks. I can't wait. There are things we need for him, activity wise to keep him up more often during the day. His best color is baby blue or white. With that little kiss from the sun...he looks so good in those colors.

So I will try to post a new picture as often as I can. We are getting ready to go for our nightly walk as a family...see you soon!

Sleeping...

I could just watch him sleep all day long...quite my job and just watch him for the next 5 years! My parents can't get enough of him! We are so lucky to have them. They will be watching him when I return to work in the fall. It is amazing how much they change from day to day. He has gained 4 oz. since Saturday and is now back in the 8lb. range. His eyes are open more often...sometimes at night...NO TALKING! Just looking! He is turning his head and watching us more and more. The doctor said we should see a smile by this weekend.

Our scheduling is working out well...he is getting his days and night closer together. But Daddy needs to burb him better! LOL But look at the size of his hands!

I just love this baby! I can't get enough of him! We are learn more and more everyday. We saw a friend who gave us great advice. So thank you for that!

So my shower is coming up in the next 2 weeks. I can't wait. There are things we need for him, activity wise to keep him up more often during the day. His best color is baby blue or white. With that little kiss from the sun...he looks so good in those colors.

So I will try to post a new picture as often as I can. We are getting ready to go for our nightly walk as a family...see you soon!

Very Busy Sunday!

Well...Julian had a very busy day on sunday and her was all tuckered out at Nana and Poppi's house! He went to visit his Great Grandma (Nonni) and all her friends, then he went to Nonaand Poppi's house for the afternoon. My mother didn't put him down all day! Which gave me time to rest. Jeff swam with my dad, my brother wants to use him as a chick magnet, and I slept for bout 30 mins, then I heard him let out a little peep and I was down stairs!. After dinner we came home and went for a walk, so all his friends could see him. Our dear friends, Dave and Peggy made us dinner...so we will have it tonight.

He had a great night...he fussed between 1 am and 3:25am, other then that...I think we have the perfect baby! (sorry if you too have the perfect baby!) We woke up around 6:45am (he hadn't had a bottle a bottle since 2:00am...so we are getting around 3-4 hours sleep!

Jeff and I are doing great! I feel great...I have lost about 10 lbs, in the last 2-3 weeks...Dogs are doing great and haven't had any trouble adjusting to Julian.

It is amazing how they change...he is getting so alert when he is awake! I love it. He is a total sunggle bug...which I love!!! He loves to cuddle with daddy too!

That's all for now. We are having some friends stop by today and of course Nonna and Poppi will be here soon! Hugs and Blessings!

Confessions of a new mom...

I am in love! I must confess...it has only been 2 days with him, and I am in love. What was my life like before he entered it? I don't know...I don't remember...the waiting I remember, but holy cow...this is why we had to have so much pain. To become so happy. I have to say... I think he is beatuiful. Maybe because I am his mom and that is what we all say about our children...but he is something else. He smells so good. He cuddles....oh I love when he cuddles!

We had a great night last night! Jeff and I are so well rested! Julian is eating more then 2 ozs. now every 3 hours sometimes more then 3 hours. Yeah! He has his time between 11:30 and 2:30am where he is up and fussy, but not crying...he just can't figure out what he wants....pee, poop, eat...stare at his beautiful mommy! Jeff is amazing with him. There was never a doubt but he is. This is what I have waited for...to see him with our baby.

Well that is our up date today. No pictures today...will post tomorrow.

Thanks for all the great comments! We are loving every some what tired minute of it!

Julian Parker has arrived!!!!

Julian Parker

8lbs. 9oz. 20 inches




Hi all...sorry it has taken me so long to post, we have been a bit busy. We got the call that Julian was born on Weds. night. He weighed 8lbs 9 oz. and was 22 inch. long. His scores were 9/9!! So we really didn't tell anyone but family, because our birthmom had not signed yet. So Thursday we waited for the call, by 3pm I called our attroney and they said they wouls call as sonn as they heard. So we went out. Our phone rang at 5:33pm telling us to go...NOW!! So we did. We held our son for the first time around 8ish. We went back on Friday at 10am only to hear that the attorney's were not going to show up until 2-3pm...yikes...I can honestly say I never had any doubts that we wasn't going to sign. By 4:50pm we were on our way home...the rest is history! So here is a picture of him. He was a little jaundiced, but it is getting better everyday! He is such a good boy! I am so tired I am going to go check email, but I wanted to post! Hugs and Blessings

Tom Petty's song...

The waiting is the hardest part!

That is all I am going to say for now! I am so frustrated I can't stand it!

I need to be in control of EVERYTHING, but this one thing I have no control over it!

UGH!!!! :)

Does he see...

the light at the end of the tunnel? I want to ask him that! Come on baby...Mommy and Daddy are waiting for you! Nana and Papa, Grandma Terry, Nonni and Uncle Damon are all ready. So are all your little friends and their mommy's and daddy's. Does he know we are here? Does he know what we have planned for him? Does he know how mommy cries at night longing to hold him? If he did, I think he would be here already. So If he can hear me, or if someone could tell him...we are waiting for you.

Is it killing you?....

Because it is killing me! NO BABY YET!!!! Can you stand it!!!???? I am dieing here! Ok, so today a few people called wondering what was going on...which is fine...I did laundry, vacumed, dusted, watched Days of our lives, Big Love, and a few Sex in the City...took a few little power naps and now I am here doing this post that I didn't want to do, that is why it took me so long! I know you all are wondering what is going on. I have been very quite on the boards and frankly I am not in a great mood!

I spoke to our attorney today (did I mention that he is a very good Christrian?) SO we had a long talk about everything. He asked me if I was nervous that she might not place and I said NO...I know in my heart she is going to. I know that this is our baby. I know that people wonder and worry up until they sign the papers...but we are not worried. We just want to get him home and start living! I feel like I haven't been living in about 2 weeks! I told him if we ever do this again, I don't want to have this long in between being matched and placement. He agreed with me. Those of you who got "the call" and picked you babies up 1-3 days later...you have it made! This stress, and what I mean by stress is wanting it all to be over with is enough to drive a woman to drink!

My poor dogs...I know they know something is going on...Eugene gives me those big brown eyes of his and I begin to feel guilty...I know I have enough love to go around, but he has been the center of our world for a long time. When I think of him, my heart aches. If you don't have pets you may not know what I am talking about but man...the love you have for your first dog is amazing! He is so darn cute I just want to bite him! I know he is going to be so good when the baby comes home. I read all the books on what to do before the baby comes. They say to ignore or don't show the same feelings for the dog before the baby comes...ARE YOU CRAZY???? He is my baby! And Libby...well Libby is the independant one. She comes to you when SHE wants to and only then. Just like her mom!

SO that is what is going on. Jeff just came home, so I am going to visit with him. Hugs and thanks for all the thoughts and prayers. Love ya all!!!

Before and After Pictures

BEFORE

AFTER

...STAND BY...

We are offically on STAND BY! She is going to go at anytime. I feel like I am a broken record! But from what the attorney's are telling me...they said...make sure you are ready at anytime. Lord knows...we have been ready! For weeks now! So...we are on Stand By...I feel like we are at an air port waiting to get to our destination...maybe someone won't show up and we can have their seats! Hugs

Another week in ...

waiting! So I came to work today...I figured if I stayed home, I would crawl back in bed, then crawl out, then crawl back again! That would not be good...or I would have made peanut butter and fluff sandwich! My favorite! So Here I am at work...bored out of my skull!

So, this weekend was so much fun! We had the police stop by...yes that is right...the police. Remember my evil neighbors? Well they are at it again! harrassment 101! So, we had a fence that divided our years...12 years old and UGLY! Jeff and I discussed replacing it. So JAH (jackass husband) and CAW (crazy ass wife) Well to make a long story short...3/4 of the fence is on our property- JAH put it up 12 years ago - but only our property not his...therefore...it becomes our property. So we removed the parcel that was on our property and left the rest that was on his up. We were going to go behind it on our property. Well CAW called the police. Then the building inspector came over. Well they both agreeed that we were not doing anything wrong and that THEY were behaving badly and it is not a criminal matter it is civil. So the police officer told them that it would look better if they LET us remove HIS fence on HIS property so it would look clean. So...after 25 minutes...yes 25 minutes in 90 degree weather...making an issue about it. FINALLY JAH and CAW agreed to have us remove it. Well the next day the were on there property over looking my property taking pictures of the fence...I asked her what she was doing and she said that she was taking pictures for the civil case that they are going to put against us. I told her she was crazy and didn't have a leg to stand on, becuase they told the police that it was OK for us to remove it. She said the the police officer told her to take a picture. I called her a liar and figured...I will call the police officer over and settle this once and for all! So the Officer came over and told them they have no recourse since they told him to have us take it down! So today we are having our fence guys come back to extend the fence all the way down so they can never try to peek again! I will post pictures when I get home.

So on Saturday we stayed home and more problems with the neighbors, so we drank with friends from the street and tried to enjoy the day/night. It was hard. I have been under so much stress it is no wonder that I had to color my hair again after 4 weeks! We had a birthday party we were invited to...our best friends little girl...we were so stressed out from the day before and the morning, I couldn't leave the house. I wanted to make sure that the crazy neighbors didn't do anything to it. Thankfully our friends are wonderful and they understood our reasons for not coming to the party.

Sunday we recovered from the night before and went to my parents. Our birht mother was induced for almost 36 hours...poor thing...nothing! So now they are going to wait for her water to break on it's own. So keep those prayers coming! We haven't lost our minds yet.

I truly believe what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. As a person and as a couple! If we can get through this waiting we can get through anything!

Well...

We are still here. And yes I have lost my mind. I have changed my blog for invited readers only for awhile. I just feel that right now I want only people who have been along this journey with us to share with us, what ever it is we are about to embark on. Our birth mother was in the hopsital since Friday. They tried to induce her, they did everything to get her moving...and NOTHING! So now we are waiting for her water to break. I can't tell you how we feel right now, because I really can't tell you the feelings. So I wanted to share with you what is going on, I know you all have been patiently waiting along with us! Hugs and Blessings. We are heading over to my parents to swim...

Still here...haven't left yet...keep you posted. God bless!

T minus 1 -5 days...

Ok...where does the 1 to 5 days come from you might be saying? Well if you are on my email list you know why. If not here is why. Our birth mom is going to be induced tomorrow if everything looks ok. If not it could be Saturday, Monday or Tuesday. So that is where it comes from. So I have been thinking...I am so darn excited I can hardly contain myself! And on the other hand I am so darn scared...not scared to be a mommy, scared that everything will go ok and everyone will stick with the plan. The stress is overwhelming! So, since we are the coupleless child shouldn't this be our time to shine??? Like it has been for all of our friends and family? I would hope so...but you know how it goes. We will see what happens.

It is very hot out today. Normally we would go to my parents house to swim. Today I am not sure. We have alot going on. We have a fence being installed tomorrow (of all days) Then we have to make sure we have everything...camera, video recorder, paperwork, husband...LOL : )

So think of us tomorrow and I will post as soon as I hear! I am not sure if I will sleep tonight...but last night...I slept like a baby! I was in the pool for over 3 hours...i think it really helped my back and helped me sleep. So maybe I can convince Jeff to go over tonight!

Jeff is so excited! I am so excited to see him become a daddy! It is funny , I was talking to a client today who is buying his frist house. He said "you know everyone is an expert! If you rent and they own a house they are an expert...if you have no children and they do they are the expert" I was cracking up! You all know what I mean...when we were TTC people were telling us what to do...have sex every other day until AF arrives, Lift your ass up afterwards for an hour...they when they know you are pregant and/or adopting they say something like "Watch and Learn" Yeah thanks...we will take it from here. I loved registering...friend's were even saying "oh don't register for that...you will never use it" DISCLAIMER: Ok you know I love you all...BUT I WANT IT!!! IT IS MY BABY NOT YOURS IT MIGHT WORK FOR ME! and if it doesn't work oh well!

I was talking to a good friend of mine who just had a baby shower and she was complaining that people didn't buy off the registry. She had me dieing of laughter...she said " if i regisiter for it...i want it...that is why we put those cards in the invitation!" I was dieing! But how do you say that in an invitation? Tactfully? That is a tough one.

I had a friend call me and tell me that a friend of hers lost her baby 4 weeks before the due date and she asked me what she should do...I told her from someone who has been there...Just listen! That is the best thing you can do...listen and be there for her, so when she is ready to talk you will be ready to listen! That is what I think mom's should do with new mom...if we ask for help...HELP! You all know I WILL ask for help! I have never been one not to ask for help!

When I delivered our son at home, we were new to our neighborhood. I really didn't know anyone. My friend who I did know was out of town on vacation. So I called a friend that I had JUST be come friends with. Who knew that she would now be one of my best friends. God works in crazy ways! So my best advise is to listen and be there for your friends. And if it is their time to shine...let them shine!

ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: MY SPELLING IS HORRIBLE AND SINCE I AM A WRECK...IT IS EVEN WORSE. GRAMMER MIGHT BE A LITTLE OFF TOO. I AM WRITING THIS FROM WORK SO I DON'T HAVE ALOT OF TIME. PLEASE BERE WITH ME! hUGS

We have some NEWS!

Hi everyone. I spoke with our birth mom yesterday...it was so good to hear from her! She sounded well and you could hear the end is in site in her voice. We are thinking he will be born some time between Friday and Monday. He sounds like he is going to be a big boy! They are going to induce her, but they have to check a few things before they do to make sure all is well. So keep those prayers coming!

I was thinking about something this morning while I was in the shower (BTW I do my best thinking and singing there!) We have been through so much...Trying to get were we are that I often wonder when it is easy for others to get pregnant, some of them take their kids for granted. You see people in the stores, yelling at their kids, or in the parking lots or anywhere else...I often look at them and shake my head. Now, I am not saying I will not yell at my kids, but my mother never yelled at us in public, why would I...Is that a learned behavior...they way we raise our chidren?

Nothing is ever guarenteed in life. We may want things to go our way (like having him home in mid july) but the only one who knows how your life is going to go is God. So why try to do things that may conflict with what his plan is. I learned that by thinking or having some place tell us that we could have our baby home before christmas. So all the stress was a waste when I could have enjoyed my time with my family. If you have to push a situation to get what you want out of it...was that meant to be. I think looking back on our Match, everything has gone according to plan...just the way it should. Now that doesn't mean that I wanted it to move faster...because boy did I ever! But I would not want to change a thing. I think of where my stress settles in my body and it is my back...where is it for you? Your stomach, your head with headaches? We all deal with stress differently.

On Monday, I turned all my stress over to the Lord when it came to our adoption plan. I felt releaved, like a weight was lifted off my back! Try turning something over to him that you have going on in your life. What an amazing feeling it is. Just ask him to take it for you....pray to him! It is amazing how it works! Hugs

Greetings from home...still...

Hi all...we are still here...still patiently waiting! It is another hot one here and I can't wait to go to my parents to swim! We usually go after Jeff get's home from work. We swim, eat dinner and visit with my mom and dad. The good thing is...they are our friends too! So we always have a good time over there. We are all looking forward to next summer when our little guy can swin with us! We plan on giving him swimming lessons over the winter, so he is not afraid of the water. I figure we will start him young! My parents have owned their home for 21 years and you never get sick of swimming or going over there. It is funny...we spend every good day their in the summer and see them maybe 10 times durning the winter. I know that is going to change...this winter we will see them alot!

I have been reading this great book my friend Michelle gave me about preparing for the baby to come home and then what to do! Good lord...there is so much! LOL I bought some stuff from Babies r Us yesterday...bottle stuff, and a snack holder that is a formula holder too! Perfect! I bought 2! Then I bought some nipples...that is where I always get confused so i bought a few. We will see what kind of eater he is!

So here we are still home...patiently waiting...I think he might be about 8lbs when born! A nice big healthy boy!

We're still here...

Yes we are...I guess it was false labor. Oh well. In good time. We are all ready to go so when the call comes we are ready! I have turned over this part over to God. I can't handle the stress anymore. It is killing me. We have no control over this and it is crazy to be this stressed out. I feel so much better this morning after turning it over. What a weight that has been lifted. It is any day now, so I will go to work and continue my same old routine. So I lied when I said you would see my next post annoucning our little guy. It is hard to stay away from blogging. It seems to be the place I can go and let it all out.

This summer has been so hot, I feel so bad for those who are pregnant this year. My mother said this is the type of summer it was when I was born.

So, we are still here...very patiently waiting...truly we are!

This is my last post until...

We have him home. I spoke to our birth mom today...and she is having contractions. Poor honey, she sounds so tired and uncomfortable...I feel for her!

They are about 20 minutes apart. The doctor sent her home and told her to rest.

SO she will either go tonight or sometime in the next few days. We are at my parents getting one last swim in, then we are heading home to get the car packed, and then we wait for the call to come! So we need lot's of prayers and well wishes for everyone! Thanks for all your support during this wonderful jounery and my next post will be announcing our son! (God willing) Hugs and Blessings!

Happy Birthday Michelle!!!!

Happy Birthday to my friend Michelle!

Here is a little story on 1 degree of seperation...

This is the short version...

It is funny how life works. Years ago when I was single I had a friend named Sal. We were very close friends and did everything together. His family owns a beautiful house on the lake so we would hang there all summer for 2 or 3 summers. Well his cousin had a friend named Chuck. I always thought he didn't like me. He seemed to pick on me alot. But he was/is a very nice guy. So for those summers we would hang out and be at the same parties. A few years ago, Jeff and I were talking and he mentioned his sisters BF and I realized it was Sal's cousin's wife! How funny! This was way before I even knew Jeff. Lisa and I were at the same wedding and so was Chuck.

Fast forward to the year 2006. I was talking with my friend Sal whom I lost touch with over the years. We were talking about how Jeff and I were in the adoption process. He told me that his cousin's friend Chuck and his wife had just adopted a baby boy...from the same agency that we were with. But little did I know that it was THE CHUCK from years past until Sal mentioned his wifes name...Michelle! Well Michelle and I were talking on a Yahoo board through our agency, and we had planned to go to lunch together the next day or so. I called her and was so excited that she married Chuck! Well, I really feel blessed to have Michelle, Chuck and their son Aidan in our life. It is amazing how things work out. Who would have thought that life would come full circle like that. I know that our boys are going to be great friends!

So here is to you Michelle...Happy Birthday! You are a wonderful friend and I am blessed to have you as my friend! Thanks for all the support and being there for me during this stressfull and emotional time! Love Ya! I am looking forward to our playdates!

Does Cleaning and Crying go toether? (T minus 7 days)

Well does it? Because that is what is happening to me. I am dusting and vacuming the house...again! Today I am going to work on the kitchen. I am listening to my christian music on the TV and life is good. But what is with the crying? AF is not here or close...so maybe they are tears of joy. Who knows.

Got another GREAT night of sleep! From 10:30pm right through to 5:00am when Jeff alarm went off. Then, my hubby lock himself out of the house, so he called me at 6:45am so I could give him his keys! I figured I was up I would do stuff... well then I saw the cutest little face on my bed...his name is Eugene! I had to kiss it and love him...the next thing I knew it was 9:00AM!!! Wow Thank you god! He must know that my days are numbered when it comes to sleep! I read the paper, drank my coffee, called Amy and chatted for a few minutes until our call got disconnected, checked out some blogs and now I am doing my blog, and then I will finish dusting and vacuming. I think I am going to tackle the kitchen. Normally Jeff does that but I think I will. Everything else is done, so why not! I could go out and shop...but I am going to save my money. I was thinking about going to some garage sales...but I began to think...I have so many boy clothes that I don't really need anything and we plan on having a shower after he gets home, so I don't want to buy anything I can get new.

Jeff and I had a great night last night. We don't have to say anything to each other...we just know...these 58 days have been so wonderful...reconnecting with each other...falling more in love then ever before...the words can't describe the love I have for him.

Life is going to change...our quite home is going to become, some what noisey...for a time...and that is ok. Jeff and I both come from a home with 2 kids. Our houses were always quite even with 2. I guess that is what we are useto. That is ok. If we are blessed with 2 children so be it...it is in God's hands' not ours. If this is his plan to have only one...we are so fine with that. My mother is an only child and she turned out great! We will see. It is all God's plan not ours. We will wait to see what he has in store for us. Let's just get our little guy home. As mom would say..."don't get ahead of your self...be happy with what you have and let Him decide. "

Hugs and Blessings...Today I am PATIENTLY WAITING

Life is good... (T minus 8 days)

Ok, so I am better now. My ranting is over and I feel so much better! Only thing is I want our boy home!!! Ok... I said it and I won't say it again in this post only! I think back at all the time that Jeff and I have spent together and I wouldn't change a thing. I have grown up so much during our marriage. He is the love of my life and I am ready to share him. I am sure I will be jelious when daddy and his little buddy go out and leave mommy home alone (maybe, maybe not LOL) Or when he wants daddy to hold him instead of me. I have waited 6 long hard years to see a baby of ours in his arms. I dream about it...almost every night. Last night I had another dream about them. Daddy was outside playing ball with is little buddy. I know this was God's plan all along. I look back at the frightful day of August 23, 2003 and think why me? Why would God have this happen to me. Why am I the one who delivers her baby at home and have him still born? Is this some kind of sick joke? I don't think so. We needed to feel that pain, to feel the joy we are about to feel. That night that Jeff rested his head in my chest as he said his goodbyes to our little Joe...that was a terrible moment...we needed to go through that in order to experience this joy that is about to hit us right between the eyes. (wipeing tears away)

So...now for some happy news. My house is the cleanest house on the block! I have been cleaning and cleaning...I was at work today and I was cleaning there! They must think I have lost my mind...and in a way I have...I sure have! We were at my parents house last night swimming again...and you could tell we are all ready! Mom and Dad are about to expolode! Everytime I call their house, Dad will answer and he will say " Is it time" and I say "nope" then his responce is "well what do you want?!" and we both laugh!

I had one of the best nights' sleeping last night. I slept all the way through until 6:45am when Jeff was leaving and he kissed me good bye. I felt great! Then I closed my eyes and woke up again at 8:15am. Went to work, then to Talbots (they are having a fabulous sale, and I had gift cards!!!), then home to do laundry and then Jeff came home for lunch. So that is my day in a nut shell or a blog post! I have to say I am addicted to blogging. Reading and posting! I know I am going to be on withdrawl when he comes...that is fine with me...bring on the shakes! Hugs and Blessings!

T minus 9 days

Well it is 9 days till the due date. It is hard to explain how I am feeling. I am anxious, nervous, excited, upset, gitty and every other emotion you can think of. So many People have been telling me he will come when he is ready. OK, PEOPLE...I get that...you don't have to say that anymore. Understand what we are feeling. We have been married for almost 7 years. 6 of those years we have been trying to have a family. Now we are matched and we are waiting...now this wait is like no other unless you have been in our shoes. If you have gone through the month after month of not being pregant, then going through all of the infertility tests and procedures, then you get "the turkey baister" to get your pregant. Then you are finally pregnant 4 times! Then you lose all your babies and deliver one at home. Now You and your husband have finally decided to adopt. Now you have to jump through hoops to prove that you are fit to be a parent...( now remember all this while your friends are getting pregnant left and right...all the while you are losing your babies) FINALLY you get approved to adopt...then you have to go through being profiled...do they not like us because I have dark hair and Jeff has blonde hair. Or maybe it is because we have dogs, or maybe it becasue we DON"T have children. All this and you have turned it over to the Lord, because he is the only one who knows when it is time for you to have a family.

So fast forward to 9 months and you are matched! How exciting it is. Just like when you found out you were pregnant for the first time. Now it seems to be becoming a reality that you infact are going to be parents. As the due date approaches you are increasingly getting more excited. You have cleaned your home everyday since July 1st. (Due date August 4th) Knowing the history of your birth mother, the baby could come at anytime. So here we are today, July 26th, 2007...9 days to go...you are no longer patient and are sick of people saying "he will come when he is ready" Please say nothing at all! That would be of great help to me. Please try to put yourself in our shoes...Please be kind to an expectant mothers feelings. I am very emotional, very anxious and I am not in a good mood.

Jeff and I have been ready to be parents longer then most people who try to get pregnant on their own. If you were fortunate enough to look at your husband and get pregnant, praise god! But please respect expectant adoptive mothers' feelings. Unless you have walked in our shoes (our=anyone who has ever experienced IF and M/C is now on the adoption journey) I know this posting sounds a bit nasty...it is not intended to be that way...I wanted people to walk in our shoes for a minute to see what it feel like to be in our shoes.

It's Official...

I am losing my mind! 11 days till his due date! I am losing my mind! I can't think of anything other then HIM! He is just not ready to come out...I think he wants to be 8 lbs.! Which is fine with me...the bigger the better...but...all I want to do is shop! That is not a good thing for me! Loving to shop is one of my trates that is bad. I am now hooked on Wal-Mart. Never thought those words would ever come out of my mouth! Yes that sounds snobby...I guess I am! I grew up in Amherst...what can I say...I admit it...I am a snob! I love Wal-Mart. Maybe becasue I am being a mom and have to be more practical about money...they have great buys...but somethings are not priced great...you have to be careful! They have a great return policey...unlike...Target! Bad Target Bad!

So here I sit in my office at work...looking out that same window I looked out before I knew I was going to be a mom. How things look...So here I am still Patiently (not) Waiting!

Upper Endoscopy anyone????

Well...I finally did it...I had my upper endoscopy done! It wasn't fun! Acid Reflux isn't fun! It has started since the adoption process took full speed ahead. I would say about 3 months. So, I am not one to go and have tests done. They can never find a vein...that is what my fear is the most. Getting pricked all over my arms and hands ins't fun! After about 15 mins., I told her to try it on my left hand...history has shown that is where it works...so she did and man oh man did that hurt!!! My left hand is killing me! It even hurts to type! So this will be a short post. I was a nervous wreck, dad drove me and he was a good sport. I had him holding on to my cell phone, just in case...but nothing!

So we are STILL Patiently waiting....

My last Sunday...

This could be my last sunday without a baby...so what have I been doing...Jeff woke me up with coffee and newspaper in bed. Then he made breakfest, and then I sat down in front of the TV and watched The Devil Wears Prada! I have been wanting to see this movie for a while and finally I have watched it. It was cute. Love the clothes! Wish i was a size 2! Man would I have killer clothes. Jeff is downstairs making the shelves for the baby's room.

It has been a nice relaxing Sunday morning. I have been crying all morning...why...I don't know. Right now I am so happy and feel so blessed to have the family and friends that I have.

Soon I will be a mommy...a mommy to a son...Son's love their mommies don't they? I know they do. I have always said I long to hear the pitter patter of little feet on our floors in our home.

We bought our home with the intent to have children running though the house. Running in our yard, calling me mommy and Jeff daddy...now our dreams are coming true. When looking back, I never thought I would be a first time mom at 36. Then again, I never thought I would be married to the best husband in the world. ( I know we all think our husbands are the best) My husband cooks, grocery shops, wood works, gardens...he does everything extrememly well. I never thought that I would have 5 miscarriages and a still born son. I never thought that I would have twins who now live in heaven.

Last night we went for a drive, this time we headed south...we went along with lake...what a beautiful night it was. We then chatted with our friends down the street and then came home. These quite days are coming to an end...the end is near...but oh what a begining it is going to be!

Pet Peaves...

Not sure if that is the right spelling but oh well...you know what I mean. So I was at Wal-Mart...my new favoriate store for some things...and I got in line and in front of me was a woman paying by check...COME ON...use your debt card! So then her daughter was behind her buying a $2.00 item and the mother paid for that too...separate check...UGHHHHH!!! So now I stand behind these two...for 10 mins. I should have been out of there in 3 mins! So here is my short list of pet peaves.

1. Retired people driving before 9am and driving after 4pm! You have all day while all the working people need to go to work and come home from work.
2. Retired people going shopping after 5pm during the week and on Saturday and Sunday. You have Monday - Friday to shop...why do it when people who work need to go shoping????
3. My evil neighbors who play baseball on their front yard and continuosly hit the ball in our gardens...there is a baseball diamond at the end of our street! If she was a smart mom she would take them there and show the the rules of the game in a proper way. (Jeff said...even though we have a big yard I am going to show him how to really play ball...(( I really loved hearing him say that))
4. People who smoke...anywhere...why do I have to smell your smoke while I am in my car with my windows open enjoying the air.

I think that is it for now. What are yours???Care to share??? Love to hear!!!!


Nothing on the baby front. All is quite...still patiently waiting! Ok...I lied...I am no longer patient! Due date 2 weeks away!

Quick update...

I am at work, so I will give a quick update...Ok...spoke to our birth mom last night...she sounds so tired...(at almost 9months preg. so would I) Her Doctor appointment went well. She has "dropped" and the pressure is very uncomfortable! She can't sit for long periods of time and laying down on her back she gets relief. So...that is good news...baby is doing really well and so is birth mom. Praise God! I will be talking to her this weekend...anyone have a guess as to when he will be hear??? My frined Katie said the 27th...Jeff thought the 17th. Anyone else care to guess?? Well...keep checking! It is a beautiful day...I think I am going to cut out early! Hugs and Blessings

Rainy days and Mondays...

Or Thursdays...It was a bab morning for me...I cried all day...My mom woke me up with...Turn on NBC they are talking about the 6 babies...so I turn it on and cry the whole time. Then I come down stairs, get my coffee, go to the basement to do laundry...and I start crying again! So I figured...Let's color my hair...maybe that will make me happy!? So I do that and my friend Kris calls and invites me to have lunch with her and the girls. Thank go for friends...I am all better now! But man....rainy days and thursday...get me down!!! Hugs

So Sorry!

Hi all... no baby yet! Sorry I didn't post yesterday...busy with work and spending time with Jeff. I also was tending to my garden. While we were sitting in back our neighbor walked by with he 6 week old baby boy! We are both so excited...Max and Julian will be playmates! How exciting!

Spoke to our attorney today...everything is still on track...so we are still patiently waiting! That is all the news I have today. Oh he is up to 7 lbs now!! Grow baby grow!!!

-------> This is a picture of my girlfriends...Lisa and Kris. Kris watches a little boy during the summer and that is who is in the stroller, and what a good baby he is!

**** Girls, I decided not to post the group photo...no one would have been happy! We had fun at Kris's house. All the kids were there and it was a great afternoon. (we could have done without the humidity!!!!) YUCK!!!

No news is....

KILLING ME!!! Hi all...we are still home...waiting for the call! She is 38 weeks and all is well. We are just waiting...should hear something soon. Thanks for all the emails and phone calls and well wishes. I have my group of friends who will be making calls and sending out emails when the time comes...so make sure you are on one of the "lists" I have been home today...off work...getting things ready...car seat is in car ready to go! diaper bag is packed, suit case is packed...house is clean, laundry is done, dogs' food is done and so is the bird. So everything is in check...except the camera and video recorder. So I have to work on that stuff today. Back to work tomorrow to get the office in shape.

I think Jeff is losing his sense of humor...I think he is nervous and anxious like I am too. I thought I was going to throw up last night...LOL I was getting so nervous! It is a good nervous! Yikes... I am going to be a mommy soon!!! Holy Cow!

We are still PatientlyWaiting (NOT)LOL

Amazing Sunday...

What a great day we had today! After a terrible night sleep... both of us...Jeff woke me up and asked if I wanted to go to church...I rolled over and said...Nah. not today...then I said yes...let's go! Jeff agreed and said that we will miss a few weeks when the baby comes, so it is a good idea. Well, I would have been very upset if we didn't go. Pastor Wes was giving the service today. I love when he preaches! It is amazing! It was all about how God created us! He picked me to be me...to have the struggles, the ups and downs...the most amazing husband...everything. How lucky am I! We laughed and cried at the same time.

Also today was the baby dedications. Normally I would want to get up and run away from that. Today was different...I think for both Jeff and I. He took my hand, and we sat there together and talked about each baby. Jim Kelly (ex- quarterback for the Bills...) His brother Dan and his wife were having their children dedicated. They have 4 boys and finally a girl! What a great family! They were so cute up there. Jeff and I both looked at each other and at the same time we said... we will be up there soon! Baby dedication's in our church are a big event. There are no god parents, just you, your husband and your baby...it is truly wonderful!

After church, we met with Katie and Pat and their children, talked a bit and then Katie gave me a bag full of bottles! yeah....I love getting things from friends...stuff that their children used. I can't wait to get new stuff too! After we were done chatting away...we drove to Tom Towers. But we took the long way. I think if I was told that I had only a day to live and they asked me what I wanted to do... I would say...take a long drive along the sea way trail with my hubby. When I was little my mom and dad and us kids would go for a drive along the same sea way trail that Jeff and I do. We hold hands, drive slow and enjoy the time together. It might sound goofy but it is so romantic. We talk about the house we would buy if we won the lottery and how we would buy alot of land and move my parents there too. This is something we will do when the baby comes too.

I know that God has a plan for everyone...our plan is different then all of our friends...they all had children early in their marriages...but for us...we will be married 7 years in September. we have had 7 wonderful years together...while we were young and spunky. Vacations we have taken, we have been able to complete our home the way we wanted it...have 2 great dogs...and so much more. I am so blessed to have such an amazing husband. He is so good to me. have I told you that he cooks...and bakes...and does so much for me. His love is amazing...I wouldn't change a thing...not one thing! I love my life and everything in it.

We are still Patiently Waiting...

The days are getting shorter...

For real...so are our days...the closer we get to our due day the faster the days are going. We had dinner at our best friends house last night...what a great time. We laughed all night...Jeff really enjoyed himself too. We are truly blessed to have this family in our life. Their youngest son is our god son...Amy's brother was in town, so it was great to visit with him and the rest of the family. When we ealked in Amy said (I am not quoting...I can't remember exactly what it was but when something like this.) "you couple only nights are coning to and end" Man is she right!


So tonight we are renting a movie and having a pizza! Our own little cheap date night at home. I love spending time with my hubby. He completes me. I called him this morning to find out what he wanted to do and when I got off the phone I said to my mother...I feel like we are date each other again! It is such a cool feeling.

Our Birth Mom is going to the doctors on the 17th...so we will she how she is doing...she is just over 37 weeks...at 35 weeks he was already 6 lbs. So by now we think he could be up to 7lbs.

So mom and I went shopping today...we were looking for containers for the flower arrangements for the shower and invites. We had a very productive day! We found both! Bounus! Now I have to make up the list and get that over to mom by the end of the weekend. There maybe a change of date for the shower...depending on if he arrives early. I am not searching for the best price for announcement cards. Everything is so expensive! It is crazy! But you know me...only the best!

My MIL's boyfriend had a massive heart attack and had triple by-pass surgery yesterday. He is in ICU and is recovering. What a crazy week it has been in Jeff's family. His sister had emergency surgery to remove an ovary...she is doing great! She is very lucky, she has already had her 2 children and was just diagnosed with endometriosis. Lucky for her she doesn't plan on having anymore children. She really didn't have any problems conceiving her children either. It amazes me how some women have problems TTC and others don't. It is a mystery to me!

So everyone is on the mend and we hope things get back to normal before the baby comes. He is entitled to have all the attention on him. Is that selfish of me? I don't think so. SIL's children have had the spot light on them for a long time. It is now our turn.

We are still Patiently Waiting...

One of those days...

I am having one of those days...AF has arrived and I hate her! Every month...I always hold out a little hope that maybe she won't come this month...maybe...but she always shows up! Lucky me! So I guess I am feeling sorry for myself...I guess a girl can do that...I am entitled! Even if I weren't I would! We have been matched for 43 days...seems like a life time...feels like a life time...have you ever just gotten to the point where you feel like you want your life to begin...that is how I am feeling.

Everyone who knows me knows I am and want to be in control of everything...but for this I am not. I am cool with that...that is life. If adoption has taught me one thing it is I have no control over anything. I wish I could wave my magic wond and have all my girls (J, B, P, T, & S) ((You know who you are)) matched and waiting for their baby. I wish there was no heart breaks when it came to adoption. We all have been waiting for various length and reasons. Some have children at home, and some do not. Ladies justso you know I pray for you everyday and night that your baby comes home soon.

People who haven't been though this process don't understand how hard it is. If you are with an agency...they call you to see if you would like to be profiled for a potential adoption situation, if you say yes...you wait for the call...then the call never comes...you wonder...did she choose another couple? Why didn't she pick us. Well...those questions most time don't get answered. So we as prospective adoptive parents have to go through the stress of waiting to hear if we were pick. JUST CALL!!! I don't understnad why they don't call to let the PAP know...that waiting time is so stressful...how hard is it to pick up the phone and let those PAP know that it wasn't their baby? It just kills me! Jeff and I have often talked about what it would take to open up an agency...first of all we know it is ivery political and then our minds wonder over to how we would handle situations and the one thing we both agree on is we would call to let the PAP know as soon as we know, so they wouldn't have to go through that. It is just a phone call...I just don't understand it. That is my rant for the day! Love or leave it!

Bad Hair Day....

You knwo when you have a bad hair day nothing works...well that would be today. My hair looks terrible...I am not kidding...terrible! So therefore nothing has worked for me. My outfit for one...I tried on 5 different outfits...nothing looked good!!!! NOTHING! And not only does my hair look terrible...my face looks bad too! It is funny how things work out like that. I am getting my hair cut tomorrow...thank god! Maybe I am having a bad day...then AF arrived this morning...not sure if she is going to stay...she just poked her head out...make up your mind!!!! If you are going to come...do so! Work is slow so I am ready to scream! I am so bored...so maybe I will go home..do some laundry...clean out a closet or two...today is garbage day...Jeff's favorite day of the week. LOL

It has been raining on and off all day...this is the kind of day where you just want to stay home and curl up in the bed and not get out all day. Turn on Lifetime and have a good cry! Ever have a day like that? Well I am off...I am leaving work now...to slow and I am not wasting anymore time here. Hugs

You know you are at ...

an Italian's house when...it is 93 degrees outside and you are having pasta for supper! YEs...we are at my parents house...again! Well, truth be told we are here all the time in the summer. In the winter it is maybe once a month...I think by August we all get on over load...by October we are dying to be together again! So the pool water was 87 degrees today...and dad was proud..."that is without the heater!" It was, believe it or not refreshing! Then after about an hour I start to get the goose bumps and get out. Jeff is always the last out.

So I sit here at my mothers computer, smelling all th smells of an Italian meal...prepared by an Italian mother. Life can't get any better then this...(well, it can...with a baby here...soon enough!) The buggie is ready for him...we are still...patiently waiting!

Packing...oh how I hate to pack!

Oh this is my least favorite thing to do...packing for a trip! I never know what to bring...will it be warm or cold, rain or sun, dressy or not! So last night Jeff said to me...you should start packing so when we get the call we are ready to go. So I started...so not only do I have to pack for him, but also our little guy! How much will he weigh...under 8lbs...then he can wear the NB clothes or over 8lbs and he can wear the 0-3 months????? Decisions, decisions! So I am packing for both! Then what else do I need to pack...diapers, wipes, nunna's...and the list goes on!!!! I know such trival things to worry about! My life could be much wose! So now I am more overwhelmed then before! UGHHHHHH

So tonight after our company leaves, I will finish packing...life as we know it is no longer normal...LOL

We bought a new stroller and car seat and that is ready to go too. So we are still waiting! The waiting is good...means he is getting bigger by the day!!!!

WE HAVE A WINNER

Paulette and Jodi...finally! Yes....we found out on Tuesday...our birth mother had 3 u/s... it was a girl...then she had to have in internal u/s and low and behold...there it was...he is all boy!!! So we are waiting for our SON to arrive! I always thought I would have a son first...not sure why...just did. I have followed the same path of my mother....she too had multiple m/c and a still born, then they adopted my brother...then 9 months later she became pregnant with me. I am not saying that I am pregnant or that we are trying, because we are not. It is just interesting how things work. We just want our son home.

It took a few days to come down from the fact that we were not having a girl anymore. I don't mean we are disappointed, because in no way are we. We are so thrilled!!!!!We had to take things back and exchange them for "gender neutral" just in case they are wrong again. Everyone is very excited...now my MIL will have 3 grandsons! She was disappointed, I could hear it in her voice...I understand...I do.

I think Boys are the sign of the times. There have been 2 boys recently born on our street...all within the last month and a half. My good friend had a boy this spring...there have been more placements of boys in my group of adoption friends all around the country. So we are having a BOY!

Ok...here is a little political rant! We were putting the pack n' play together...the instructions we in Spanish! COME ON PEOPLE!!! THIS IS THE USA!!!! What is up with that! We are very intelligent people...the English that was printed in the booklet was minimal. I was disgusted!
Since this is the USA and English is our first language, can we make that the predominate language please! If I wanted a pack n' play in Spanish I would have gone to Mexico and bought it there! That is my feeling on instruction booklets!